Suicide Squad 

**Spoilers but who cares really**

I’m going to be honest, I just couldn’t bring myself to watch Suicide Squad again. Take away the fact it’s a D.C. movie, but no one should have to watch this (spoiler alert) bad a movie. With this in mind, instead of a Review, and possibly the biggest rant this blog has seen, I’m going to talk about the few good things and what I would have done differently.

The characters, or at least most of them (not you Enchantress), are the best thing about this movie. The 2 standouts for me are Harley Quinn and Deadshot. Harley Quinn is a character every comic book nerd wanted to see on the big screen and for it to be done right. Thankfully Margot Robbie nails it and looks the part as well. It’s not a coincidence that she was that year’s most dressed at Halloween. For anyone who has played the Arkham games and watched Arrow, we have come across versions of Deadshot before. Will Smiths  version was my favourite with his cockiness and attitude but those one liners, “it’s like we are some kind of suicide squad”, no, please do not speak again. There were other good characters, love or hate them, that with a bit more screen time, or in Katana’s case, a few more lines, would have been memorable. Diablo and Rick Flag are honourable mentions for me. There’s a lot of Rick Flag haters but he was the leader of the squad and was good in parts, minus of course his obsession with Enchantress. I really hated Enchantress.

Before discussing about the changes I would make, I feel it’s necessary to talk about the changes that were already made to the film. Early promotional material depicted a dark theme with a really gritty story. But then all of a sudden we got these neon lights and crazy symbols and some stupid cereal bowl poster, what the f*ck has cereal got to do with this movie. David Ayer clearly had a vision for this movie, that the studio ate and sh*t out along with every colour in the rainbow. This is of course all speculation as, to my knowledge, nothing was confirmed. Reshoots are also a necessary part of filmmaking these days but this also feels like 3 different movies mixed by 5 different edits. I’d be fascinated to see what David Ayer’s original film was meant to be like but unfortunately we never will.

The first major change would be obviously the villain. I have no idea what the Enchantress was doing or what her goal was. She literally did nothing but stand and dance beside some sort of portal. Why that warranted the entire city to be evacuated is beyond me but it allowed the Squad to dander around the city and do what they did. What should have been the villain is someone with hostages deep in an unknown country that no one would want to go or send their forces. Somewhere where only the squad would go because they are forced to go. If they wanted to keep it within a city, make the villain the Joker. Do not insult the history of that character by making him a tool to further Harley Quinn’s story. Whether you liked Jared Leto’s Joker or not, do not make him a side character that is kind of a side story but isn’t.

More Batman. It is really as simple as that. If you have the rights and are free to have Batman in your film, use him! One of the best scenes in Suicide Squad was Batman chasing the Joker and Harley Quinn, as well as Batman swooping down behind Deadshot and capturing him! I realise logistically, maybe Ben Affleck wasn’t available to do more, and the movie isn’t called Batman, it’s Suicide squad so the focus has to be on them. But use him as a someone who is also taking down the villain but in a good way. Maybe the squad take down the villain because Batman helped in some way. They were great cameos but 60 minutes in, I want Batman back.

This list could honestly go on but I’m going to end on this point. Get rid of those ridiculous introductory info graphics beside each character. No, just f*cking no. We, the audience, are not idiots. If you tell us who a character is in a natural way, 90% of the time we will retain that information, especially if they are good characters which most are (still not you Enchantress). We didn’t need information about each character and I find it hard to believe there wasn’t a more natural way to introduce everyone.

This movie is about 4 movies in one and it just can’t settle on one storyline. We got a Joker and Harley Quinn storyline, we got an Amanda Waller introduction storyline, we got the beginning of a cool Deadshot story, and we got whatever the f*ck Enchantress was doing. If the movie had told us even one storyline, it could have been a great movie, unfortunately we got a mix of shi**y symbols all mixed in a cereal bowl.

Diagnosis – Flatlined

Suicide Squad has some really great characters which will go on to hopefully do cool things in this universe, but not even they could save this absolute mess of a story and mix of tone. Would not even recommend this to someone I hate.


Matt

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